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    The toenail

    Other than to be an annoyance that you have to clip off weekly, and a major sore point if you fucking stub it, causing the whole nail to lift from the toe besides still being attached to all those nerves in the nail bed, on the coffee table trying ro break up a dog fight over treats, why do we still need them?

    Why have we not moved on past our need for toenails? Think of the children.

    #2
    Perhaps they serve as an undignified reminder of our mortality? It used to be so easy to lean down and tend to them. Now, after decades, toenail tending is an activity which requires planning. Dreadfulness always accompanies this planning.

    Comment


      #3
      I believe in God. If we were created in his image, does he lay on the carpet, writhing in pain from a busting his toenail on a coffee table?

      Does God even have coffee tables?


      Whoa


      Comment


        #4
        Did you find someone to yank it (the toenail, that is)?

        Comment


          #5
          Just be glad you don’t have toenail fungus

          Comment


            #6
            If youyou'thinking "Hey, I'm doing pretty good for my age. I'm fairly thin and in good shape." Try cutting your toenails. That gut you didn't think you had appears out of nowhere to put a roadblock in your way.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by traxx View Post
              If youyou'thinking "Hey, I'm doing pretty good for my age. I'm fairly thin and in good shape." Try cutting your toenails. That gut you didn't think you had appears out of nowhere to put a roadblock in your way.
              The last time my wife refused to cut my toenails, I asked her what was the point of getting married if not for situations like this!
              I told her it would be good practice for when she'll have to change my Depends someday! Gradual desensitization!

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by OUDoc View Post
                Did you find someone to yank it (the toenail, that is)?
                Hell no. Dude down the road wouldn't numb the nail bed up to trim it off, and I guess I am a gigantic pussy for not allowing him to just rip it off.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I really assumed this was a Traxx thread.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I have to be so careful with my feet. Thank goodness I get mine trimmed next week.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      20 some years ago, I fiercely stubbed my right big toe while playing some game on the playground with my 5th graders. Whole toe turned purple as can be. Then, the toenail began growing very thick. Wasn't fungus, just some sort of reaction to the injury. For years I dealt with an ingrown toenail issue on one side, hated it. Last yr, the other side of the toe began competing. I went to a podiatrist and nuked the nail! The doc removed the nail and treated the nailbed with acid. Never again shall that particular nail bother me.

                      Victory.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        When I see a thread title like that i still open it expecting to see a picture that only The could post.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post
                          I believe in God. If we were created in his image, does he lay on the carpet, writhing in pain from a busting his toenail on a coffee table?

                          Does God even have coffee tables?


                          Whoa

                          If we are made in his image, does he also have a belly button?

                          and if he does….

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by keef View Post

                            If we are made in his image, does he also have a belly button?

                            and if he does….
                            Enjoy hell, blasphemer.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                              Enjoy hell, blasphemer.
                              It should be pretty much the same as hanging out here....... except I'll have to talk to you instead of typing.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Originally posted by keef View Post

                                It should be pretty much the same as hanging out here....... except I'll have to talk to you instead of typing.
                                Well, while you're there can you remove his toenail?

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by OUDoc View Post

                                  Well, while you're there can you remove his toenail?
                                  I imagine the devil will want that painful, half-off toenail to remain in place......forever....and ever.....

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by OUwasp View Post
                                    20 some years ago, I fiercely stubbed my right big toe while playing some game on the playground with my 5th graders. Whole toe turned purple as can be. Then, the toenail began growing very thick. Wasn't fungus, just some sort of reaction to the injury. For years I dealt with an ingrown toenail issue on one side, hated it. Last yr, the other side of the toe began competing. I went to a podiatrist and nuked the nail! The doc removed the nail and treated the nailbed with acid. Never again shall that particular nail bother me.

                                    Victory.
                                    Help me out here....your toe has no nail on it at all? Like you have a solid skinned big toe? Because i have thought about doing that.

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      They can do that. Destroy the nail bed and the nail won't grow back.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by OUDoc View Post
                                        They can do that. Destroy the nail bed and the nail won't grow back.
                                        This is the 3rd time i have lost this one, and previously had 2 side slivers removed from it being ingrown. Really fucking done with this guy here.

                                        Guess I will never make it as a foot model now.

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post
                                          I believe in God. If we were created in his image, does he lay on the carpet, writhing in pain from a busting his toenail on a coffee table?

                                          Does God even have coffee tables?


                                          Whoa

                                          He's gotta have somewhere to set his coffee on the 7th day, doesn't he?



                                          And I practically slashed my own Achillies tendon on my left foot with the big toenail on the right foot in bed a couple of nights ago.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by SoonerBornSoonerBrett View Post

                                            He's gotta have somewhere to set his coffee on the 7th day, doesn't he?



                                            And I practically slashed my own Achillies tendon on my left foot with the big toenail on the right foot in bed a couple of nights ago.
                                            I figured it was heaven, so everything is all floaty and cloudlike, eliminating the need for coffee table legs all together. Kind of like Han Solo in carbonite, but you put drinks and unopened mail on.

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                                              This is the 3rd time i have lost this one, and previously had 2 side slivers removed from it being ingrown. Really fucking done with this guy here.

                                              Guess I will never make it as a foot model now.
                                              Now, now. Don't get depressed. You have all your toe nails removed permanently and The has some work for you.

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                                                I figured it was heaven, so everything is all floaty and cloudlike, eliminating the need for coffee table legs all together. Kind of like Han Solo in carbonite, but you put drinks and unopened mail on.
                                                .

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                                                  Help me out here....your toe has no nail on it at all? Like you have a solid skinned big toe? Because i have thought about doing that.
                                                  Pretty much. The toe shape has remained the same, as if a nail is there. The nailbed is a determined little foe, and a couple of half-assed flakes have tried to form, but they have peeled right off. Wish I had done the deed years earlier.

                                                  Comment


                                                    #26
                                                    If we didn’t have toenails, what would Philippino and Thai women named Cindy or Lynn do for work?

                                                    Comment


                                                      #27
                                                      I dont think you can say that anymore on the internet

                                                      Comment


                                                        #28
                                                        How did cave men, women, and others trim their toenails? With their teeth? Or did they never?

                                                        Comment


                                                          #29
                                                          Originally posted by Not2121 View Post
                                                          If we didn’t have toenails, what would Philippino and Thai women named Cindy or Lynn do for work?
                                                          They would open more donut shops. We can always use more donuts.

                                                          Comment


                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post
                                                            I dont think you can say that anymore on the internet
                                                            Well then why did I do it? Huh? Cause I did it. Riddle me that!!

                                                            Comment


                                                              #31
                                                              I went to hs with a guy that didn't have toenails. It looked weird as shit. He said "that why I have sex with my socks on"

                                                              Comment


                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by Not2121 View Post

                                                                Well then why did I do it? Huh? Cause I did it. Riddle me that!!
                                                                Your coffee table must not have legs, and free floats, with all this power you are wielding here.

                                                                Comment


                                                                  #33
                                                                  Originally posted by GimmeVaughn View Post
                                                                  I went to hs with a guy that didn't have toenails. It looked weird as shit. He said "that why I have sex with my socks on"
                                                                  Were they at least clean when yall boned?

                                                                  Comment


                                                                    #34
                                                                    Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                                                                    Were they at least clean when yall boned?

                                                                    Comment


                                                                      #35
                                                                      Originally posted by NoCalSooner View Post
                                                                      How did cave men, women, and others trim their toenails? With their teeth? Or did they never?
                                                                      Follow the science. They chewed each other's off. Carbon dating proves it.

                                                                      Comment


                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by Ribby View Post
                                                                        I really assumed this was a Traxx thread.
                                                                        Why would you think that? This thread has nothing to do with boogers or turds.

                                                                        Comment


                                                                          #37
                                                                          Originally posted by Lazers pew pew pew View Post

                                                                          Your coffee table must not have legs, and free floats, with all this power you are wielding here.
                                                                          Nah, I just love Stu’s character in The Hangover.

                                                                          Comment


                                                                            #38
                                                                            This whole toenail problem is part of a much larger issue. Feet. They're dirty, nasty, smelly and should be removed at birth. Much like a circumcision, cut em off and spare the whole world the agony that comes with feet.


                                                                            Comment


                                                                              #39
                                                                              Originally posted by Middle Aged Man View Post
                                                                              This whole toenail problem is part of a much larger issue. Feet. They're dirty, nasty, smelly and should be removed at birth. Much like a circumcision, cut em off and spare the whole world the agony that comes with feet.

                                                                              there's a dude that attends my church.....he's around 70ish and is diabetic....all his toes are almost gone....pretty disgusting..

                                                                              Comment


                                                                                #40
                                                                                Originally posted by theresonly187 View Post

                                                                                there's a dude that attends my church.....he's around 70ish and is diabetic....all his toes are almost gone....pretty disgusting..
                                                                                Sad to hear about the diabeetus, but yuk.

                                                                                I flew from Chicago to Hong Kong years ago and the guy across the aisle from me took off his shoes and socks before we were even pulled out from the gate. 16 hours ahead of his nasty feet staring right at me. Unh uh, no way. I swapped seats with a Filipino lady and took the window seat. Took 2 benadryl and slept the whole flight. If it weren't for feet, we'd have world peace already.

                                                                                Comment


                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  Originally posted by NoCalSooner View Post
                                                                                  How did cave men, women, and others trim their toenails? With their teeth? Or did they never?
                                                                                  Didn’t wear shoes and dragged their hands on the ground.

                                                                                  Comment


                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    Originally posted by theresonly187 View Post

                                                                                    there's a dude that attends my church.....he's around 70ish and is diabetic....all his toes are almost gone....pretty disgusting..
                                                                                    Diabetes will do that to you. Once you start cutting it doesn’t get better. I was with a woman in the rehab center that started with her toes and was up to mid thigh.

                                                                                    Every time I had a foot wound it takes 3-6 months to heal. The present one I’m hoping is done has been over two years. If there’s an infection it’s a good five days in the hospital. I’ve had several scares. This was the worst. While rehabbing my broken leg I developed a blister on the side of my foot which turned into a nasty wound. They removed some little toe bone and somehow closed the wound. They still didn’t think it would heal but it did. Scary shit.


                                                                                    guillotine animated gif

                                                                                    Comment


                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      Originally posted by KCRuf/Nek View Post

                                                                                      Diabetes will do that to you. Once you start cutting it doesn’t get better. I was with a woman in the rehab center that started with her toes and was up to mid thigh.

                                                                                      Every time I had a foot wound it takes 3-6 months to heal. The present one I’m hoping is done has been over two years. If there’s an infection it’s a good five days in the hospital. I’ve had several scares. This was the worst. While rehabbing my broken leg I developed a blister on the side of my foot which turned into a nasty wound. They removed some little toe bone and somehow closed the wound. They still didn’t think it would heal but it did. Scary shit.


                                                                                      guillotine animated gif
                                                                                      [\thread].

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